How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
