The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
