Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
