Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
