Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
