kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
