conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
