So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
