Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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