i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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