you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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