She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize