Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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