Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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