piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
