I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
