We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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