Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I skipped work to stalk him.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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