Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
