it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
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just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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