with your own penis?
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
