Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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