You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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