i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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