I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
