when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
