...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
