Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
