I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
