What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
