Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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