Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
