Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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