She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
