when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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