so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
