More tranny stories later!
you would pick up someone in the library
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
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