nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I believe in your delicious
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
