Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
try to milk me bitch
Randomize