i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I believe in your delicious
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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