You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i think i just lost a toe
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
