I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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