I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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