My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
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