If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
