no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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