I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
