That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
