she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
