you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize