so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
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