Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
