Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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