this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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