what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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