If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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