I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize