what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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